Year-End Review

I wasn't able to fully appreciate personal reviews until 2 or 3 years ago when opportunities to develop myself started rolling in. I think the telling moment was when I was really starting to believe in myself again and know that I'm capable of doing great things and becoming something of note (in the very least, in my opinion).

These last couple of hours before the new year will have me writing out a bunch of personal reviews, contemplating on my 2017, looking forward to next year, and hopefully emptying my work inbox because man, I am not looking forward to a bajillion e-mails after this trip.

Anyway, my templates and guide questions are up. I just need a warm drink and music. Then the fun time party party can begin. Here's to the last few hours before the new year!

17 Questions To Ask Yourself That Will Help You Honestly Address How Well You’ve Spent Your Year Thus Far

1. What New Year’s resolutions have I honestly stayed true to, and what resolutions have I broken?

Back At It

May I should start writing again? For real this time.

Since my last post in August 2016, I have been through so freaking much. I don't really expect people to come to this space, or go online and actively look for my blog. It's fine. I'll just post my stuff here should someone chance upon whatever experiences I post, they can relate to it.

For now, I'm planning to do the 2017 Year in Review. I have about a week left until the year ends so I have to do this now.

Brain dumping is such a great release. Too many thoughts can really leave your machine all rusty and clunky. Well anyway, here I go. I'll be back soon.

What Improv Theatre is Like for a Type A Control Freak

Thinking on my feet gives me anxiety.

I have always been the type of person who needs certainty. Generally, if I have questions or doubts about certain things, I need to know the answers right away. I cloak myself too much in the comfort and stability of certainty.

It's a fatal flaw of type A control freaks. We have several outcomes and placeholders in mind even before actions to those outcomes have begun. Since we want things to happen in a certain way, we attempt to control the means to actually make it happen. Not getting the result we want, not having the power to control what it takes to achieve our desired results, and not having certainty about the outcomes or the actions result to frustration and thus, anxiety.

It's madness, I tell you.

Immature vs. Mature Love by Osho

“In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love.

Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone.

They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.

A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives.

And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa.

He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love.

And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one.

But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.

Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free.

There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it.

Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity.

How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality.

That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.

Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages.

And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.”

— Osho

30 Day Challenges

They say it takes 30 days to make a habit and change your life. Sticking to challenges or daily goals that will eventually ingrain themselves in your behavior and cognitive processes.

I've always found this particular topic to be interesting so I scoped out samples of 30-day challenges I can do. These are taken from Thought Brick's list of One Hundred 30-Day Challenges You Can Do to Turn Your Life Around.

Write dreams every morning for 30 days.

This should be exciting because I love writing down my dreams and thinking about them, doing some short-term goal every day/week.

Listen to a new song everyday.

Might be a bit difficult since I like listening to the same things. But I'm always on the lookout for good songs to listen to.

Spend 5 minutes focusing on your breath.

Ohhhm~

Draw/paint a picture a day.

I'll have to collect pictures I can draw.

Spend 5 minutes repeating a positive affirmation for yourself.

You is kind, you is smart, you is important. I'll probably have to come up with a new one that's applicable to the kind of person I am, and the kind of person I want to be.

Keep a laughter journal and note down what made you laugh today.

Another slightly difficult challenge since I can laugh at anything and everything.

Give up bitching for a month.

Yes, I need this.

Be positive for 30 days, even when things go wrong.

Also need this.

What April 2016 Looks Like

“…and I remember all over again that fear is just a part of life. The trick is to recognise it and press on anyway.” -- Julie Andrews

When it comes to setting goals and dreaming up dreams, I don't want to not do something because I'm afraid. If I had a dream and I couldn't pursue it, it would or should have to be because of budget issues. I have to make responsible decisions over my finances because let's face it -- The spirit is willing but the wallet is weak.

On Twitter, I have been gushing about how there's so much for me to look forward to in April. There's always something to look forward to everyday but more so this month because I spent most of my income and my savings on classes and adventures I will be embarking on this crazy summer month:

1. Travel writing with Ayala Museum
2. Freediving
3. Improv classes with Third World Improv
4. French Classes at the Manila International Integrated Learning Center

Bike Ride in the City for the First Time

Do one thing everyday that scares you. So today I rode a bike in the streets of Makati.

I have dreamt of being able to bike around city streets for 2 years. #goals

A little background information.. I don't remember that pivotal moment when I decided that I wanted to bike commute, or simply just bike around the city instead of taking public transportation.

My siblings and I have our own place and we pay our all own bills so buying a car is out of the question. Also, I don't want to add to the traffic in the city. We always complain about the traffic situation in Manila. Well, WE are traffic.

Scoring Goals

The other day, I went shopping. I don't know what happened, because normally I wouldn't (or rather shouldn't) spend more than Php 700 when I shop. Because it disrupts the balance of my budget. I hate it.

Like when I eat out instead of bringing lunch to work, take a cab instead of commuting when I'm running late, and for that matter, waking up late, which was preceded by a night of working and tons of procrastinating on articles and other side projects and whatnot.

It's all so chaotic and jumbled up, this life of chasing dreams.

I feel guilty when I spend money on things I know aren't absolutely necessary. I feel guilty when I spend on want instead of need. I feel guilty and stupid when I miss deadlines.

I'm trying to save because I have dreams of traveling, going back to school, buying a bike so I won't have to commute, going to recreational classes. On top of that, I have bills to pay and adult responsibilities to do.

Just for the record, I'm not broke or financially crippled. It's really just that. Saving money to go after my dreams, and also doing the bare minimum -- little steps to go after those goals and accomplishing short term goals.

It's pure economics. Every decision I make is a step toward or away from the dreams I want to pursue. In writing this may sound admirable. But it's such a hard life. The process is painful, slow, and sometimes I hardly feel like I'm making progress. Because I can be terribly lazy, broke, or too busy. Simultaneously at times which is such a difficult thing to be.

There's also the thought that everyday I want to do something different, something that can either scare or amaze me. Given that I always think I'm too swamped with things to do, I hardly ever give this everyday mini project a thought. I really wish I could. If I could just slow down...

Because really, it's never enough to just think about how you want your life to pan out. You plan it and you go do it. That's such an empowering and terrifying thought. Isn't it?

Something to Ponder On

Let's play have you ever...

1. Mumbled over your words?

2. Spoke like this: "futter bushroom; oh wait, butter mushroom!"

3. Found long awkward silences painful?

Millennial. Bleh.

I hate the word millennial. I know I really shouldn't hate on a lot of things but that word just wells up loathe in me.

The Weekend

I'm one of those people who don't want to be one of those people who constantly wish for it to be the weekend already. I love Friday moods and down time (if I have any) during weekends.

I love my full-time job and I just recently got promoted in my writing job. Life is good, sure but lately everything seems to be snowballing. A lot of things to get used to and a couple others I have to put up with.

To give you an idea, it's getting harder to work using my laptop and there's been no electricity at my place since Monday. We get by with a generator so the refrigerator and a single light bulb still works.

That's not what I'm worried or anxious about though. It just goes back to my initial thought of having to be used to a few new things. I didn't know why I wrote this, just felt compelled to write something on the blog.

Bye.

Revamped Yet Again

Nothing I say in this blog is the gospel truth. I revamped the blog again and posted after several months. Before I work, I have to empty my brain. But the "How I Met Your Mother" audio in the background is too distracting. I'm not a big fan of the series but I'm curious as to how it ended. I've read the spoilers but I haven't seen the episodes.

And now I'm hungry.

Happy New Year!

Such a generic title.

I ended my year on quite an interesting note -- making an annoying video with my siblings. Although that bit was fun, I can't help but feel like I wasn't able to make the most out of the first day of the year.

Anyway, even though I got up to a slow start for year 2015, I don't think that should be reason enough not to get a move on on the things I should be accomplishing.

A few weeks ago, the desire to really push myself and drive my personal goals forward in the coming new year only strengthened. A thirst for change, per se.

That's all for now. I can't say anything much as of present. I'm currently killing my brain cells with work.

NFAQ's: Love

One of my favorite rom-coms, The Holiday, is playing whilst I write this. I admit I am kind of a fluff movie buff. I'll watch anything, sure but I am partial to romantic comedies. (I love you, Nora Ephron!)

Anyway, thinking of starting this Not Frequently Asked Questions thing. I've always imagined being interviewed by a magazine because I am pathetic. :)) While no one has invited (nor will ever invite) me to become a glossy magazine's cover story, this NFAQ will have to do. This is the most vulnerable and "naked" I can be online. Grab your copies now.

Q: What is love?

A: Oxygen.

Q: Are you in love right now?

Verbatim

It has been awhile since I have written anything here and I feel that I am a lousy excuse for a writer. If you claim yourself one, be writing. Right? So here goes.

Dinner tonight was spent with one of my most favorite people and we were talking about a range of topics that range from national heroes, historic figures, education system, et cetera. As is the norm when we meet and discuss.

We sound like a bunch of elbow-patched old bags but hey, the conversations are always interesting.

Whiplash: And ah one two three four, perfect

WHIPLASH 2014 | A promising young drummer enrolls at a cutthroat music conservatory where his dreams of greatness are mentored by an instructor who will stop at nothing to realize a student's potential. (IMDb)

Dead Poets' Society, Coach Carter, Freedom Writers, The Miracle Worker. Movies that are about teachers with unconventional teaching methods, lessons that go beyond the four corners of a classroom, a story that teaches morals that are not taught in textbooks.

Whiplash is NOT that kind of movie. It's a grueling, intense, electrifying film that will rock you to your core and make you question -- is perfection worth the price of one's sanity?

I'm 22 and I don't know what to do.

You're young and you want so many things in life. You want to live life meaningfully, with passion, with a mission. You want to make a difference, create change, and inspire other people.

You dread the daily grind of a 9-to-5 in a corporate setting. You don't want to just stare a computer screen, surrounded by gray walls, working on stuff which don't really matter in the long run. You have deadlines which don't sustain past being deadlines.

In a month or two, you'll just forget about them.

You don't actually think you're running out of time (which is what most people usually say). You just want to live the life you want. Right now. Because you're young and you want to get things kicking already.

Impatient, aggressive, ambitious, driven, and.. clueless.

On Giving Advice

I have this friend who has a love problem. He just confessed to girlie and now he's idk, distraught about the whole thing since they're good friends.

I made a whole tirade about confessing feelings and reciprocation.

Twenty Two Things About Being Twenty Two

Normally, people have obligatory birthday posts wherein they reflect where they are in life, how far along they are with their goals, yaddi yadda the whole kit and caboodle.

I turned 22 last September 20. How is life so far for this twenty-something?