What Improv Theatre is Like for a Type A Control Freak

Thinking on my feet gives me anxiety.

I have always been the type of person who needs certainty. Generally, if I have questions or doubts about certain things, I need to know the answers right away. I cloak myself too much in the comfort and stability of certainty.

It's a fatal flaw of type A control freaks. We have several outcomes and placeholders in mind even before actions to those outcomes have begun. Since we want things to happen in a certain way, we attempt to control the means to actually make it happen. Not getting the result we want, not having the power to control what it takes to achieve our desired results, and not having certainty about the outcomes or the actions result to frustration and thus, anxiety.

It's madness, I tell you.

Immature vs. Mature Love by Osho

“In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love.

Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone.

They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.

A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives.

And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa.

He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love.

And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one.

But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.

Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free.

There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it.

Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity.

How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality.

That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.

Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages.

And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.”

— Osho

30 Day Challenges

They say it takes 30 days to make a habit and change your life. Sticking to challenges or daily goals that will eventually ingrain themselves in your behavior and cognitive processes.

I've always found this particular topic to be interesting so I scoped out samples of 30-day challenges I can do. These are taken from Thought Brick's list of One Hundred 30-Day Challenges You Can Do to Turn Your Life Around.

Write dreams every morning for 30 days.

This should be exciting because I love writing down my dreams and thinking about them, doing some short-term goal every day/week.

Listen to a new song everyday.

Might be a bit difficult since I like listening to the same things. But I'm always on the lookout for good songs to listen to.

Spend 5 minutes focusing on your breath.

Ohhhm~

Draw/paint a picture a day.

I'll have to collect pictures I can draw.

Spend 5 minutes repeating a positive affirmation for yourself.

You is kind, you is smart, you is important. I'll probably have to come up with a new one that's applicable to the kind of person I am, and the kind of person I want to be.

Keep a laughter journal and note down what made you laugh today.

Another slightly difficult challenge since I can laugh at anything and everything.

Give up bitching for a month.

Yes, I need this.

Be positive for 30 days, even when things go wrong.

Also need this.

What April 2016 Looks Like

“…and I remember all over again that fear is just a part of life. The trick is to recognise it and press on anyway.” -- Julie Andrews

When it comes to setting goals and dreaming up dreams, I don't want to not do something because I'm afraid. If I had a dream and I couldn't pursue it, it would or should have to be because of budget issues. I have to make responsible decisions over my finances because let's face it -- The spirit is willing but the wallet is weak.

On Twitter, I have been gushing about how there's so much for me to look forward to in April. There's always something to look forward to everyday but more so this month because I spent most of my income and my savings on classes and adventures I will be embarking on this crazy summer month:

1. Travel writing with Ayala Museum
2. Freediving
3. Improv classes with Third World Improv
4. French Classes at the Manila International Integrated Learning Center