Scoring Goals

The other day, I went shopping. I don't know what happened, because normally I wouldn't (or rather shouldn't) spend more than Php 700 when I shop. Because it disrupts the balance of my budget. I hate it.

Like when I eat out instead of bringing lunch to work, take a cab instead of commuting when I'm running late, and for that matter, waking up late, which was preceded by a night of working and tons of procrastinating on articles and other side projects and whatnot.

It's all so chaotic and jumbled up, this life of chasing dreams.

I feel guilty when I spend money on things I know aren't absolutely necessary. I feel guilty when I spend on want instead of need. I feel guilty and stupid when I miss deadlines.

I'm trying to save because I have dreams of traveling, going back to school, buying a bike so I won't have to commute, going to recreational classes. On top of that, I have bills to pay and adult responsibilities to do.

Just for the record, I'm not broke or financially crippled. It's really just that. Saving money to go after my dreams, and also doing the bare minimum -- little steps to go after those goals and accomplishing short term goals.

It's pure economics. Every decision I make is a step toward or away from the dreams I want to pursue. In writing this may sound admirable. But it's such a hard life. The process is painful, slow, and sometimes I hardly feel like I'm making progress. Because I can be terribly lazy, broke, or too busy. Simultaneously at times which is such a difficult thing to be.

There's also the thought that everyday I want to do something different, something that can either scare or amaze me. Given that I always think I'm too swamped with things to do, I hardly ever give this everyday mini project a thought. I really wish I could. If I could just slow down...

Because really, it's never enough to just think about how you want your life to pan out. You plan it and you go do it. That's such an empowering and terrifying thought. Isn't it?

Something to Ponder On

Let's play have you ever...

1. Mumbled over your words?

2. Spoke like this: "futter bushroom; oh wait, butter mushroom!"

3. Found long awkward silences painful?

Millennial. Bleh.

I hate the word millennial. I know I really shouldn't hate on a lot of things but that word just wells up loathe in me.

The Weekend

I'm one of those people who don't want to be one of those people who constantly wish for it to be the weekend already. I love Friday moods and down time (if I have any) during weekends.

I love my full-time job and I just recently got promoted in my writing job. Life is good, sure but lately everything seems to be snowballing. A lot of things to get used to and a couple others I have to put up with.

To give you an idea, it's getting harder to work using my laptop and there's been no electricity at my place since Monday. We get by with a generator so the refrigerator and a single light bulb still works.

That's not what I'm worried or anxious about though. It just goes back to my initial thought of having to be used to a few new things. I didn't know why I wrote this, just felt compelled to write something on the blog.

Bye.

Revamped Yet Again

Nothing I say in this blog is the gospel truth. I revamped the blog again and posted after several months. Before I work, I have to empty my brain. But the "How I Met Your Mother" audio in the background is too distracting. I'm not a big fan of the series but I'm curious as to how it ended. I've read the spoilers but I haven't seen the episodes.

And now I'm hungry.